Thank you so much for your letter. Poor you! I’m sorry that you are feeling so troubled and confused, but I really don’t think you have anything to feel anxious about. It is perfectly natural to enjoy some good-natured rufty-tufty with your buddies out in the healthy mountain air and why not wrestle naked if it is warm enough to do so? At guide summer camp, we often took dips in the lake without any clothes on; in fact, the land owner Mr Preecy, insisted on it. He took his health and safety regulations extremely seriously and personally watched over us as we practised our duck-diving. What a conscientious man!
I think Will Young is a lovely young person, and although I am not familiar with his music myself, I’m quite sure there is no shame in “prancing” around to his songs. Play them loud and proud, as my nephew Elton would say! But perhaps you should refrain from listening to Will on your headphones when you are working, dear – those conferences you mentioned sound rather weighty, and might require a little more concentration.
I hope I have, in some small way, put your mind at rest, Vladimir. And thank you so much for the beaver fur-lined knickers you sent me; I’m sorry but I won’t be sending back a pair of my pants as you requested, however I have enclosed a commemorative guide badge “I’d Rather Be Camping” which I hope you will enjoy!