Thank you for your incredibly moving letter; I could practically feel your angst oozing from the sheets of your family-crested Smythsons of Bond Street writing paper.
I’m quite sure there is no need for alarm. Your husband holds a position of great magnitude and I do not think it at all unusual that he spends a good deal of time in the company of his advisor. He does, after all, need to be kept fully up to speed with matters of vital importance concerning the UK economy and world affairs. I must admit, I share your surprise that his advisor is a school leaver, but doesn’t that say so much about the wonderful education system in this country?
I quite understand your concern at finding your husband down on all fours; clearly, at our age, one must be mindful of one’s joints! But it was very kind of him to search for your stable boy’s contact lens, so you mustn’t be too cross – he sounds like a very considerate employer. One must also remember that an MP serves his constituents in many different ways, and although undertaking a prostate examination might seem a little beyond the call of duty to us traditionalists, your husband is obviously embracing the new, modern way of governing. What a super effort – well done him!
Yes, the world of banking is a mystery, isn’t it? I commend you for examining your statements so meticulously. I don’t know what the weekly payments to ‘Big Ben’ are for, but no doubt they will be something to do with your husband’s role in Parliament; luckily, MPs are always painstakingly transparent in their financial arrangements!
You seem concerned at seeing his car parked in the Forest Edge lay-by, but I think it’s rather lovely that he was searching for a badger’s sett, even though he voted in favour of the cull. I think one calls that a U-turn! He’s obviously a nature lover, given his penchant for all things outdoors, and I do so applaud his eager support and participation in Scout Camp. If it’s anything like Guide Camp, it will be a riot of hot sausages and squeal piggy squeal!
I can think of no better way than to leave you with some heart-warming reassurance; the first principle of scout law is “a scout is loyal and can be trusted”. There you are, you see - you can stop hiding the Vaseline now!