Thank you for your letter asking for advice on how to stop your child from biting. Parenting is such a challenge, isn’t it? Try not to worry, dear - I am reliably informed that biting is a phase that will pass. Your son will soon grow out of it!
However, if you feel the need to take some action before the little lad gets himself into trouble, then perhaps you should take a leaf out of Supernanny’s book and correct this socially incorrect gesture by using the naughty step. Why don’t you give it a try, dear? It doesn’t have to be an actual step, of course, it could be a chair or a bean bag. It’s not a new-fangled technique, you know; my father had his own version, a cage he adapted from an old chicken coup. He would winch my sister and me up over the slurry pit and lower us down until we screamed for forgiveness. The method clearly works - we were exceptionally well-behaved little girls.
I hope you don’t mind, but as I am not blessed with children myself, I told my niece about your son’s little problem. She has typed her advice below:
“Bite him back, the little shit.”
I have to say, my niece certainly knows her stuff! She has formed an amazingly close bond with her sons, during her regular, supervised meetings at the family contact centre.
Well, I hope we have given you some food for thought, dear. I know it won’t be easy, but all the tears and tantrums will be worth it in the end when your son blossoms into a temperate, well-adjusted young man. You certainly wouldn’t want him growing into a monster, would you?